Why Catholicism?

 "Most roads don't lead anywhere. What it does mean is that I will travel any road to find you.”  

Jesus, The Shack.

I was raised evangelical. My parents are still evangelical. I am not. I have not been since I left home. I spent many years coming to terms with my faith. I am still coming to terms with my faith. I think I will always struggle with it. I guess that's what it's all about though, right? 

So, the question above probably begins with why anything? Why do this at all? What purpose does joining a church serve? 

I have long felt that there is a chunk missing from my life. This chunk is mainly what I guess you'd call 'community'. I have a circle of friends, I have a loving family, I have friends that are good enough that I'd let my children live with them if something happened to me and Bill....but in the larger sense, I feel a bit lost. Growing up in a family that was VERY involved in church (we are talking at least 3 church sessions a week here), I always felt a strong sense of community. This word means different things to different people, but for me it means camaraderie, mutual support and fellowship. Hard as I've tried, I have never been able to find these things outside of church. That is, until Guillermo (my six year old son) started attending Catholic preschool. As I began to spend time in the church/school, I noticed something about the people there. Not everyone went to church every week or even every month, but they were connected. They had a sense that the people around them were there for them, would help them if need be. This hit me. It still hits me. I honestly haven't felt that since I left my parents' house! I have been drawn in since those first months. 

The answer then, to why do this at all comes with a long answer. First, I want my children to have the same sense of fellowship that I had as a child. I want them to be able to walk into a place and know that everyone there would help them if they needed something. And you know what? I want to feel that way too. I want to be supportive of others in my community as well. I want to know that I am connected. I want to work with others to support causes. I want to be part of something. Don't we all? Well, maybe. But I have finally come to realize that God is part of that connection for me. 

Old friends from my childhood surely recall my faith and call me a backslider (ask me about that sometime), but I've never really lost my faith in God. What God is is a whole different story...but the idea of God...yes, that has always been there. I quoted The Shack at the beginning of this post. I remember reading that book and being so impressed with the concept of the trinity there. I also remember loving the character Jesus. I remember having this epiphany and a moment of new found freedom when I read the quote above. It changed my outlook about religion actually. It got me thinking about how we find our way to God. It wasn't until years later that I felt the Catholic path pulling me in. And then, in my murky faithland, I wonder...is this Jesus meeting me? Is this the path in which I will become connected? I guess so. And here is why.

Having been brought up in an Evangelical setting, I have always been drawn to the subdued pomp of Catholic mass. I love the quiet reverence.  I feel at peace during prayer. I like knowing what to expect. I like the fact that masses feel almost the same as that last pose in yoga that is all about inward meditation. I like that no one is watching to see if my hands are waving. I like that no one talks out of turn. I like that no one yells Amen! I like that sitting in that sanctuary listening to the priest, I find myself meditating on God. Solely God. The mass feels like home to my heart.  

OH, and then there's this: